Arguably, Beyoncé is one of the greatest entertainers of our time (although who wants to really argue this point) and although her performing ability is pretty amazing, that’s not what I’m referring to.
Recently in Harper’s Bazaar magazine Beyonce was asked: how do you process celebrity culture and protect your inner self?
Her response was golden
She described how few boundaries there are in the world. How fast paced society is, with people wanting to have access to every part of you at all times of the day.
People want to know more about what happens behind the scenes.
They want an invitation to your most intimate moments.
They want a front row seat to your highs, lows and see what your life looks like and will demand full access to you, if you let them.
I’m paraphrasing because this is also my own interpretation of what she was describing.
Now for the average person, it might not be that intense because more often than not, our lives are monotonous or repetitive, so we may use social media when we are doing something fun or taking part in a new experience. I for one have done the same.
Now, we are no Beyoncé so our lives are not going to be anywhere as colourful as a multimillion entrepreneur when we’re popping out to the local Tesco’s to get our weekly shop, but the sentiment is the same.
In the article, Beyonce also went on to describe how we the public only know as much about her as she wants us to know.
So while some might want more from her, she only shares what she is willing to give and those boundaries are what keep her sane and grounded.
So when I say be more Beyoncé, this is what I am referring to.
Everything about you isn’t for everyone. There are a lot of people out there who have an opinion about what your life should look like, what you should be doing, how you should look and even how you should think.
You do not have to overexpose yourself to anyone because when you do so, you’re opening yourself up to things you probably haven’t asked for.
Value access to you, people have to really earn the right to see what’s behind what you choose to show.
People can tell themselves that oversharing on Instagram is them doing the work to be vulnerable and share their lives with others. While this can be true, if you are oversharing without being intentional, you’re not considering your own personal boundaries. Are you oversharing for the likes, is it for external validation?
If you’re sharing your inner world on Instagram but your closet friends see a completely different version of you, are you really being your true authentic self?
One of my favourite authors Brenè Brown describes this perfectly.
Vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability.
So, when it comes to setting boundaries, be more Beyoncé and while we’re at it throw Brenè Brown in there too, because she’s awesome.
I’m Lizandra, a psychotherapist coach and enthusiast of all things boundaries and healthy relationships. I help clients online and in St Albans to heal through hurtful childhood experiences of the past, to become empowered and find their authentic voice. Sign up to the mailing list to get more insights and your free guide on setting boundaries.