We all use venting as a coping strategy when we’re feeling frustrated by the actions of another.
It’s not uncommon to vent when somebody has made you feel upset or hurt, we use this space to have our voices heard and to hopefully reduce some of the negative tension associated with the conflict.
The drama triangle: Engaging in the same pattern of destructive behaviours during times of conflict.
Do you find yourself stuck in certain relationships where you continue to have the same negative repetitive behaviours?
You have most likely observed this toxic dynamic within reality television (any pick of the Housewives reality shows, Love Island and Celebrity Big Brother spring to mind), after reading this blog you’ll begin to recognise it within your own relational encounters too.
The Drama Triangle is a self destructive, infuriating and an unhealthy way to resolve conflict.
When was the last time you openly expressed gratitude in your relationship?
Yesterday, last week, last month even.
If you have to spend longer than a moment to think about it, this is probably an area where you can begin to actively put in some time and effort in expressing gratitude with your partner.
I get it’s probably not at the top of your list of priorities, there’s your work/life balance to consider, the everyday household tasks, trying to keep yourself healthy, maintain a social life, maybe you have kids, kids that are so young that all you are thinking about is getting a good nights sleep, never mind telling your wo(man) what a great job they’re doing.
I get it, life is busy and you’re juggling more than a handful of things at the moment.
That doesn’t mean your relationship should become neglected or forgotten about as a result.
Toxic behaviours within a relationship can be one the main factors why a couple in crisis will seek relationship therapy or marriage guidance. When a couple is unable to break the pattern of conflict it is usually then that they will seek professional support to help them to navigate their way back to a healthy relationship.
If you are in a stage in your relationship where every discussion you have with your partner turns into an argument or disagreement, seeking outside professional help in the form of couples counselling might be an another issue where you disagree.
One partner may be feeling more hopeless about the relationship, for them seeking professional help is the last attempt before considering ending the relationship all together.
Being in a long-term committed relationship doesn’t come without its’ challenges. My experience as a counsellor and psychotherapist suggests that when couples seek the help of a professional it means that either individually or as part of the couple, you have tried everything you can to improve or make changes in the relationship without much change or success. Now you are at crisis point.