The self-care talk has become somewhat of a cliché, bloggers are talking about it, social media influencers, coaches, but what exactly is self care and why is it such an integral part of your wellbeing and relationships?
The cliché is that it is all about treating yo’self, chocolates, bubble baths, that sort of thing, which is still a good thing, who can say no to scented candles and chocolates? These are all lovely ways to spend more time focusing on treating yourself with love and care.
In a way that can be somewhat superficial, self care has been diluted into focusing on what we can give to ourselves externally.
With the power of authenticity, we have the power to be our true selves, evolving, messy, complicated, loving and a whole lot more.
We all have different faces or personas that we present to the world, we have different aspects or different versions of who we are, it’s a part of being human that we’re full of complexities and paradox contradictions.
There’s who you are with friends; relaxed, funny, happy, who you are with your family; dependable, loving, loyal, who you are at work, professional, rational, reliable.
These parts are all versions that make up who we are, it’s what makes us individual, unique, it gives us our idiosyncrasies, personality and develops our sense of self.
The term Self Care is becoming a common phenomena with many of its own hashtags #selfcare #selfcaresaturday #selfcaresunday are just a few with plenty of more out there in the world of social media. No doubt you would heard the term used before, but with all this talk of self care, what does it actually mean and how does it help people who want to look better and feel better about themselves? I often share with my clients the importance of self care and why it’s necessary to incorporate it as part of a healthy lifestyle whenever it is possible, including those times where there seems to be barriers or challenges preventing you from practicing self care.It can be particularly useful to those who are already struggling with mental health issues and find it difficult to identify when some of their own basic needs are not being met, no matter how small.
If you are in a stage in your relationship where every discussion you have with your partner turns into an argument or disagreement, seeking outside professional help in the form of couples counselling might be an another issue where you disagree.
One partner may be feeling more hopeless about the relationship, for them seeking professional help is the last attempt before considering ending the relationship all together.
Anxiety is a normal emotion that we all experience, during times of excited anticipation, or at times of being under extreme stress or threat.
Not all anxiety is bad, it is in fact a healthy emotion that we all need as a means of self-preservation and knowing when we might be in danger so that we can respond appropriately.
An acute response to threat is also known as the fight or flight response, this is the feeling we experience when we are faced with something physically or mentally challenging and is a natural human response.
The Impossible Task of People Pleasing
We’ve all been there, agreed to do something or other to help out a friend, a family member or a colleague despite being overexerted and pushed for time. At first, you are more than happy to help, being there for others is meaningful to you, it gives you purpose and it makes up a large part of who you are. But what happens when saying yes comes at a cost to you? Maybe you literally just don’t have the time, your plate is already full, you’re exhausted and thinking about when, if ever, you will get to have a break. Creating some time and space that is just for you is near impossible.