Our inner critic is usually that overly harsh internal voice that makes us feel like we’re getting it wrong.
It tells us that we don’t fit in.
What we’ve just said sounds stupid and makes us feel not good enough.
Our inner critic highlights our insecurities and we say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t dream of saying to anyone else.
If you’ve ever stopped to listen to your internal dialogue, you’re probably aware that not all of the thoughts we have about ourselves are very kind.
If you’ve ever heard your internal voice telling you that you were stupid for making a mistake, or constantly plants that seed of doubt whenever you’re about to try something new, then you’ll be familiar with the inner critic.
It’s that inner chatter we hear when we’ve said something that we immediately wish we could take back.
It sounds pretty judgemental and always seems to know the right time to kick you when you’re down, fueling all of your insecurities and self doubt.
Most of us have an internal dialogue. We get so used to it just being in the background that we almost forget that it’s there.
If we enter a situation that makes us feel uncomfortable or we feel that we’ve made a mistake, that might be the time when that internal chatter becomes louder and makes its presence more known.
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I’m not good enough
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I’m unlovable
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I’m so stupid
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I can never get things right
Sometimes this inner critic is so persistent, it becomes white noise. You know it’s there, you notice it chipping away at your self esteem.
You become so used to the negative messages it’s telling you, it almost feels like it’s just a part of you.
But alas, we are not born with this internal negative dialogue who readily condemns our actions.
The inner critic is something that develops over time.
It’s drip fed into the unconscious until it becomes louder and monotonous. It becomes so internalised you think this internal inner critic is you.
We can address our internal inner critic by becoming more aware of our thoughts.
Instead of it being just a white noise that we become used to, we can make this negative commentary more conscious.
By identifying negative thoughts you can challenge the validity with statements that offer kindness and compassion.
Therapist Tip:
Try journaling your thoughts for a week or keeping a mood diary and see what you notice about your thoughts.
The more we develop our self awareness, the more we can shift our inner critic into more compassionate thinking.
I’m Lizandra, an online psychotherapist and coach. I specialise in childhood trauma and healthy relationships. You can learn more about me here.
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